I will start this blog with the present and work through to the past. On Saturday, March 19th, Brynnlee and I attending my cousin Tommy’s wedding. Jeff had to work and was unable to make the wedding, so my sister came in his place to help me. I am so thankful she came, without her my arms would have gone numb! I’m glad that we were able to make it to the wedding, but I wish that Jeff could have made it. We were planning on staying in a hotel, but to save money I drove home that night. It was tiring, and I didn’t make it home until 3…but Brynnlee and I were able to sleep in our own beds. Plus the dogs were able to go outside and we saved the carpet from being peed on. Of course the next night Remington peed on the carpet! Katie, Brynnlee and I made it to the wedding just in time to see Kelli walk down the aisle. We slipped to the back row and enjoyed the ceremony. Brynnlee laughed, giggled and even screamed throughout the ceremony. It was so funny, and slightly embarrassing. After the ceremony we headed to the reception. Brynnlee met her aunts Karen, Karla, and Kelly. She also met her cousins Chelsea, Jared and Amy. Kris, Larry, Jamie, Ruben and the kids also visited with Brynnlee. It was a lot of fun to watch Brynnlee interact with family and to the setting. She enjoyed the music and loved watching the other kids on the dance floor. Uncle Larry took her on the dance floor and danced with her for a few minutes. She laughed and laughed watching him dance and be crazy. Brynnlee wore a cute spring dress. It was white satin material with pink and green dots and a green bow in the back. Through the night Brynnlee was amazing! She slept part of the car ride there, but was wide awake until we left at 8:30. When she started to rub her eyes and get fussy we left. About 2 minutes into the car ride she was asleep and slept until we dropped Katie off at the cabin. Brynnlee visited with my parents and Nick. The she had a wardrobe change, a bottle and we were back on the road. The trip home was long, boring and very tiring! Brynnlee slept through the entire trip. I had to stop a few times to gather my thoughts and wake up a little more, but overall I did really well. While driving through St Johns the car in front of me hit a deer. I saw the car slow down and instantly I knew what had happened. I slowed down and kept on eye on the wounded deer. As I passed the poor thing looked me straight in the eye as it struggled to try to stand. Unfortunately I don’t think the little guy made it, he looked wounded. We continued on our path, we had another slight encounter with deer and almost hit a raccoon. Other then that the ride was filled with phone calls to Jeff and constantly changing the radio stations!
I’m glad that some of the family was able to meet Brynnlee. Although I know they will never be a part of her life like they were in mine, I was glad they met her. Sadly some days I wish the family could reconcile the past and move on. Grandma Bonnie would be so upset at how the family has acted and the way things have turned out. Brynnlee doesn’t need to know specifics. All she needs to know is that they are family, but we are not close and will never be close again. I remember a lot of good times with my aunts, uncle and cousins, but these memories are in the past. Brynnlee will have our immediate families, and that’s about it. I hope as she gets older she understand the reason why we are sheltering her from the majority of our families.
Today Brynnlee is 26 weeks and 6 days old. I continue to be amazed by her growth. She loves to stand and play with her toys. Everyday she gets tummy time, and each day she continues to rock and get on her knees. It’s getting closer every minute. Her hair is continuing to grow, in fact it starting to touch her ears again! I think she is going to be fair haired like her mommy, I just hope she doesn’t get the crazy curls that I had. She loves to play with a finger puppet that we have. She laughs and giggles when I hide it and pop it back up to scare her. It’s so funny to watch her expressions! She is also starting to understand when toys fall. If she is in her exasaucer and drops a toy over the edge, she will lean over to look. Brynnlee has a slight case of separation anxiety. She fusses when one of us is holding her and she sees the other one leave the room. It’s much worse when we are home alone with her and leave the room. She gets very upset until I return; even then sometimes I have to pick her up to calm her down.
Last night I was feeding her dinner when the neighbor knocked on the door asking for cupcake holders. I gave her some and returned to finish feeding Brynnlee. Instead she had a hold of the bowl and was practically licking the inside clean. Of course the dogs were next to the high chair licking the food that splattered on the floor. When I laughed she looked at me confused! Oh how I love that little girl. She still has just the two bottom teeth. I keep waiting for more to come, but it may be awhile. Until then I crack up every time I see the huge smile and her two teeth staring back at me!
Today I am struggling with work. I am frustrated with my job and my boss. I enjoy the setting and the majority of my coworkers. It makes me so mad to know that I left a job I loved and with great people to this. I feel like they take advantage of me and my position. Sadly our program might not last past September. In a way I am hoping that we don’t receive our funding and that I am laid off. That is so terrible to say because I know so many people need jobs, but I am so frustrated. I feel like I never have a life outside of work. If it’s not my fulltime job, then it’s my part-time job, or the housework, or Jeff is gone…etc. I keep waiting for life to slow down, but I have a feeling it’s going to keep up. I’m in it for the long haul! So I just keep moving along. Anytime life gets me down I just remember the smiling face that is waiting for me when I get home!
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